I think part of divorce that is so hard is when you considered your husband your best friend not only do you lose a partner/co-parent/lover… you also lose your best friend.
My husband recently told me ” you are my best friend ” … I loved hearing it and yet I was a little surprised at the same time, but not sure entirely why yet ( I am a SLOW processor!). I think from the divorce process I learned to not confide any more in the man-best-friend kind of situation. I have my sisters… they are AMAZING to me and more then sisters closer then friends. I have friends.. I have a few that have been my friend my entire life and some now that would do pretty much anything for me and have held me up through my dark days and laugh with my on sunny days. It is safe to say I know the definition of what a true friend is.
My husband really is closer than a best friend… he loves me unconditionally.. loves WHO I AM.. the good the bad the ugly.. he is learning my moods 🙂 he is a great listener and learning how to help me process things. He supports me. He defends me. He cheers me on and gives me caution. He does it all unselfishly or without any demands in return. Like I said.. better than a best friend! he is so much more to me.
One of my favourite movies is the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I love how the group of friends rally to support one of their “ya-ya’s” daughters. Since I have 4 daughters myself it’s something I have come to think about a lot and see that due to my support structure my girls have automatic unconditional support. That is community. That is beautiful to me. My daughters being teenagers and 1 a pre-teen I am in more need of my community of supporters even more.
How does one raise a child, no matter what issues that child may have, without a support system? I dare question if it’s possible?! I also think if you don’t pick your child’s community they will pick their own and that could be a scary thing.
more soon… time for a little time with my Ya-Ya’s!